Sources of Life

In the time I spent in the Evangelical church, I heard a lot about relating to God, about holiness, about worship and response. All of these things are true, of course, in that context. If you choose the path of Christ, those will all be part of your life.

Where I and many around me were in error was believing that sort of holiness was a finite, dispensed resource. While never strictly spoken, the overarching reality was clear — God grants little outpourings of his grace and you must constantly replenish your dwindling supply by returning to the community, to the church, to the pastor who would unwrap the gift for you.

This is, if we are honest, the tragic song of the addict. It is to be forever told that something apart from you is the only thing which can set you free. It is to be forever dependent. This is hardly the good news of Freedom. To believe this logic is to embrace irredeemable brokenness and insufficiency rather than the redeemed, sanctified, Spirit-filled life Scripture speaks of.

What I have learned outside the church as I pursue a more meditative, contemplative faith is our worship, our holiness, cannot consist of sitting idly waiting to be filled. It is not about being recharged in repose so we can then strike out alone into the profane universe of action. Such a stance implies a preoccupation with finitude and limitation.

I am coming to suspect that true religion is not about being filled from without, but being enlivened from within. It is about carrying with you that which you could not put down if you tried. It is about ceaseless rejuvenation rather than the continuous need for replenishment.

We must somehow outgrow this notion that spiritual health is the tedious task of forever carrying water back uphill in a leaky bucket.